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Why Does My Cat Sleep with Me and Not My Husband?

Often, our cat’s behaviors can seem strange. One point of confusion is often the places our cats try to sleep. They seem to sleep in the oddest places and may prefer to sleep with only one person. They may even leave the bed when another person lays down, even if the person they sleep with is still in the bed.

Usually, this is interpreted as favoritism towards a particular person. However, it is often more complicated than that. Cats choose their sleeping places for a variety of reasons – often it has nothing to do with how much they like or don’t like a person.

Here are some reasons why your feline may choose to sleep with one person over the other.

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1. Warmth

Cats often choose to sleep in warm places. This often fuels their odd sleeping positions more than some other factors. For example, they may sleep underneath a couch to be close to an air vent or on top of a table to be in the sun. Either way, warmth is a driving factor.

If it’s colder, this may even be more of a factor. If most places in your home are on the colder side, your cat will have to work extra-hard to find warm sleeping spots. They can’t just use a blanket like us.

It is possible that you are warmer than your husband, making you a more acceptable sleeping spot. Furthermore, even if you aren’t actually warmer, you may sleep in a position that allows the cat to find a warmer spot, while your husband may not provide many spots that are warm. For example, cats often like to sleep in between legs because they are significantly warmer than other sleeping areas.


2. Comfort

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Image Credit: Impact Photography, Shutterstock

You may also simply sleep in positions that are more comfortable for your feline. For example, perhaps you sleep on your back, allowing your feline to sleep on your stomach. Your husband may sleep in a position that makes it more difficult for your cat to get comfortable, which makes them sleep with you instead.

Sometimes, it is the small things that affect whether or not your cat sleeps with you or someone else. For example, your cat may decide to sleep with you solely for the angle you keep your foot at. If your cat obviously shows favoritism towards one person, it could be something small that you might not even notice.


3. Companionship

Sometimes, it is true that cats simply sleep with someone because they like them. While cats are solitary creatures when compared to dogs, hundreds of years of domestication has made them decently affectionate. If they prefer one person over the other, they will likely want to sleep with that person as well.

This is especially true if they get pets when they are cuddling.


4. Stress

Sometimes, unusual circumstances can cause your cat to become stressed and anxious. When this happens, they may seek shelter with someone they can trust. This can make them pickier about who they sleep with, as they’re more likely to be worried about their safety than at times when they aren’t anxious.

If something new has happened in their life, they may suddenly start sleeping with one person. This is normal and will subside as the situation becomes normal again. When their anxiety lessens, they will be less likely to just stick to one sleeping partner.


5. Territorial

cat sleeping on a woman's lap_Shutterstock_Alena Ozerova
Image Credit: Alena Ozerova, Shutterstock

Some cats are simply one-person cats. They pick one person that they absolutely love, and then they stick with them for the foreseeable future. This is especially true if the cats were raised around one person, as they may become protective of that person’s affection. Some cats are naturally more territorial of their people than others.

The breed can affect this somewhat. Some cat breeds are simply one-person breeds, and therefore more likely to choose one person’s affection over another.


6. Habit

Some cats simply begin sleeping with one person for some reason, and then it becomes a habit. Cats are creatures of habit, just like humans. If they start out their days in your home only sleeping with you, that is likely how it will continue unless something makes them change that habit.

Cats typically won’t change unless they’re forced to.

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Can I Change My Cat’s Sleeping Habits?

All habits can be changed. If your husband wishes the cat showed him more affection, it is important for him to take time out of his day for that affection to take place. He’ll need to connect with the cat at their level, which may be through petting, playing, or a whole host of things.

It is vital to note that following a cat around the house or forcing yourself on them can actually be interpreted as aggression. It is best for the husband to wait for the cat to come to him. Try grabbing a toy and moving it around instead of attempting to cuddle.


Featured Image: Adam Kuylenstierna, Unsplash